There's a lot going on right now, some random some not, significant all the same. It's scary, a stark reminder that some things cannot be controlled no matter what you do.

I feel as if I can do more. Not my career, I know what I have to do there. I mean with everyone else around me. I feel as if I'm supposed to do something, but I don't know what it is. Maybe I care too much, I've thought of that often over the years. Maybe I don't care enough, I don't know. 

The thing is, I see people around me and I feel like I can do more for them. Is it wrong to think like that? Am I trying to push myself into other people's lives thinking I can be something, when I'm something I'm not? 

Maybe it's because I've had my fair share of pain over the years too, that it's a preventative measure I'm trying to pursue, to stop others from feeling what I felt. The more smiles I can put on the faces of others, the better they feel and the better I feel too. 

We can't have everything we want, that much is true. But that doesn't mean we can't try to reach for it, attain it. I'm close to reaching my goals, I can see it getting closer with each passing day. But if I can't help my friends reach goals of their own, then I feel like I've failed.

I don't pretend to know everything either. All I can do is try.

No comments: